Cafeteria Food

by ira lee and factor

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about

Dead Can Bounce’s Ira Lee isn’t just a rapper; he tells engaging stories about down-to-earth subjects like the pathetic nine to five existence of a "Used Car Salesman” or a child’s eulogy for an old dog finally forced to be put to sleep ("Magic”). He has an empathic knack for making these slices of life believable and understandable, and tells it all with a quirky prairie flow that is smooth, laidback, and threatens to break into song. To make it even better, Side Road’s in-house producer, Factor, hooks up the perfect blend of mellow and groovy hip-hop soul that runs the gambit from the up-tempo boom-bap of "People Think I’m Kinda Weird,” to the southern soul of "Donna Jones” and the love balladry of "Little Japanese Girl.” Heck, even the sped-up soul sample on "Empty Nights, Famous Days” works. In fact, there’s little to complain about with the tasty buffet of Cafeteria Food, a serious contender for the best Canadian rap album of the year, even if it isn’t the perfect album for your next party.

credits

released April 22, 2006

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Ira Lee Montréal, Québec

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Track Name: Used car salesman
Me and Peg Leg Pete, Spill our troubles, like every single night to the Je - sus man /

We’re a couple angry blades with a life long grudge /

flinging pepper chocolates at the old oak tree /

Annie's lover has a butcher in his eye /

and their always out walking in the mid night sky /

Baby Sue, from a one horse town /

with the bad liver blues and that monkey wrench frown /

Jimmy ray and his rubber band trio /

banging on the skins, like some good old country boys /

Big Jed’s kinda slow in the head /

with a shiny pair of wings / that you hardly ever see him spread /

Little Billie and his beat up guitar /

strumming like the next song will make him a star /

Aunt Patricia used to work at the liquor store /

until they caught her skimming loonies, from the courtesy jar /

Uncle bobby, drank himself to an early grave /

found him dead in his dodge, without a soul to be saved /


picket fence / two kids and a wife/ I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life


tools in the box holes in my sox / when Oprah's on everything else stops

picket fence / two kids and a wife / I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life

plaid pants / two kids and a minivan, / used to give it all I got, / now I give what I can

picket fence / two kids, and a wife / I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life,


Big bubba, / from out in the Tarpit /

like's to aim his sawed off where your parking /

Jenny sells sea, - shells, by the sea shore /

beside the Zellers we're she doesn't have to work anymore /

Ricky has a virgin Mary on his key chain /

He's got a really good heart, / but there's something wrong with his brain /

Peggy and Tina, / they run the local day care /

when I had nowhere to go, they let me sleep their /

Jeffrey never shared his beer, or his deer sausage /

He'd take ski pants off, / and eat the whole damn bag /

spit out mouthful of buck - shot and barf on the ground /

for Mr. Peterson, the janitor, to mop up and down /

Kathy--------- Black, the girls so hot /

but her boyfriends in a gang and i don't want to get shot/

I heard she works at value village in the afternoon/

that's pretty cool, i guess , but what's her favorite cartoon/


Tools in the box, / holes in my sox, / I've never been in a fight without a handfull of rocks

Picket fence / two kids / and a wife I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life

Plaid pants / and a driveway to plow / if only the chicks from high school could look at me now

Picket fence, two kids, and a wife / I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life


Rudy works in Avonlea, out at Jon deer /

he's our parts guy, supervisor of the year /

Danny's loaded he owns his own snowboard shop /

I always tried to be his friend, but we never could talk /

Him and Silvu flew to Mexico, to find an Eskimo, but got arrested and bribed, when they first arrived/

Tiff and Ry, they're really in love, he smooches her on the lips, and she farts when they hug/

Julia 's slutty, she sleeps with everybody, not that there's anything wrong with that, i just think it's yucky/

Brent's a professional cowboy in the rodeo/

he has a ten gallon hat, and lived in Borneo/

Shirley's handing out her Amway card/

cause Henry lost their mortgage at the track………., drinking hard /

Abdullah used to run a shish kabob catilion /

until the cops arrested him / for terrorism /


Picket fence / two kids, and a wife / I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life,


Tools in the box, / always worked for me / neighbors heard us fighting so they called the R.C.M.P,

Picket fence, two kids, and a wife,...... I'll probably be a used car salesman the rest of my life,
Track Name: Magic
Magic
A love song by ira lee


Daddy's a murderer, ----- he, put her to......... sleep,

cause she had a bad paw / .............. and barely any lime green......... teeeeeeeth,

blind in both of her eyes, / and pissed on everything

Daddy's a murderer, ------- if he's ever been anything,


Daddy's / a murder her, ----- he, ---- put her to......... sleep

hardly shit / at all, / ....... and never wants to eat



Daddy's a murderer, ----- he, put her to sleep,


Daddy's a murderer, ----- he, put her to sleep,

cause she has a bad paw / ............. and whine glass feet,

blind in both of her eyes, / and pissed on everything

Daddy's a murderer, ------- if he's ever been anything,


When I saw your cute little tail, / and that adorable face / i couldn't bear to see you dead ---- inside a garbage bag,

I wish i'd taken you for walks, / ...... and fed you right after school,

when you'd be jumping up and down, / ................. barking at squirrels,............ it was cool

now that's a good girl, / play nice, /................. and daddy'll give you a treat,

cause you'd lick anything / with peanut butter on it, /....... even feet,

I'll call you magic, like the basketball player, / cause it was 'magic' how i never bathed you once,...... or even combed your hair,

Border collie crossed with something, / no one's really sure, /.... the doctor said she got sick form con - suming her own manure

Untill momma caught her munching down on yesterday's crap, / ...... and she made me pick it up with my bare hands, /..... and gave me slap

' .......of all the good for nothing,--------- mother - fucking, -------- greedy,..... un - grateful ------ son - of - a bitch - ing things to do, '

............. she - de - pends on you......

ira......


that dog depends on you, /.............



Daddy / don't murder her, ----- don't / ------ put her to sleep,

doctor said she as at least, / until the end of the week,

blind in both of her eyes, / and pissed on everything

Daddy's a murderer, ------- if he's ever been anything,


Daddy's / the murder her, ----- he, ---- put her to sleep

cause she' s been whining like a stab wound, crying all week,

hardly shit / at all, / ....... and never wants to eat

Daddy's a murder - er, ----- he, put her to sleep,


Daddy's / a murder - her, ----- he, put her to sleep,

cause she has a bad paw / ............. and whine glass feet,

blind in both of her eyes, / and lame in everything

Daddy's a murderer, ------- if he's ever been anything,


Because she was to weak, / and didn't come when we called her, / just slept in the corner, / drenched in sweat , struggling to breathe.

Hard to believe a year ago this frisky puppy, was sniffing crotches in the park, and slobbering on everybody.

Catching frisbees in her mouth and chasing sticks I fake throw, dragging me down the block in mushy, salted city street snow.

we couldn't afford her /..... but you can't abandon family, /.......... she'd get to sleep in the porch, /..... when the weather got too cold or crappy,

Used to be scrappy, / and jump for the toes, now she hardly moves at all and there’s no moisture on her nose.

When she first started puking......... and I told mom she was sick, / she threw her arms up and said, ' great, who's going to pay for this shit?

Momma grabbed her favorite lamp and threw it square atr my head, good thing she missed or more than just the dog would be dead.
Track Name: Little Japanese Girl
Little Japanese Girl
A sing songy poem by ira lee


Sexy lips, with orchids in your satin hair,

I asked a dragon where you we're, but i knew you we're their,

your moves are sweeter than a candy coated sugar swirl,

shake it like a disco queen, little Japanese girl


What's your name, pretty angel, with the midnight eyes,

I’d like to buy you a drink, like all the rest of these guys,

your moves are great, i love the way you pivot and twirl,

shake it like a disco queen, little Japanese girl,


Let's have some fun, you won't believe what I can do with my tongue,

sweet Magnolia’s going to squirm and shake her cute little bum.

Your moves are awesome, kimosabe, …… you had me at hello,

shake it little a disco queen, little Japanese girl.


A bowl of sticky rice, and one too many sake's in,

I caught a butterfly that stung my fingers for the sin.

Olive eyes and skin as white as fresh Saskatchewan snow,

I met her at a puppet show, just outside of Tokyo.

She giggled openly, enthralled with all the marionettes,

her face would light up and the world would make that much more sense.

She had incredible teeth, and the most beautiful hands,

I offered to kiss them all night long unless she'd made other plans.

Her body spoke to me, in secrets and screams,

I can’t pronounce her name but that's not all that a relationship means.

I need a tease in my life, it's an emotional thing,

she loves to do karaoke, and i love watching her sing.

She doesn't need a bouncing ball to help time out her part,

she knows every Joni Mitchell song in the catalogue by heart,

Asian princess, your beauty's a skill,

I love you little Japanese girl, and I always will......


Sexy lips, with orchids, in your satin hair,

I asked a dragon where you we're, / and then i headed for their.

Your moves are awesome kimosabe, you had me at hello,

Shake it like a disco queen, shake it nice and slow.


What's your name, pretty angel, with the midnight eyes,

I’d like to buy you a drink, and so would the rest of these guys,

your moves are great, I love the way you pivot and twirl,

shake it like a disco queen, little Japanese girl,


I’ll get a job teaching English, so you can keep going to school,

we’ll live in a chocolate covered castle, with a cherry coke pool,

prune the Bonzai and rake the rock garden everyday,

Water the plum tree, and pick tea leaves for your mother and I.

Two lover’s in the dark doing what rainy days are made for.

Sweet and sour like the plum sauce on my calamari, for Ramma Don your momma bought us a vintage Atari.

Soon I’ll be leaving on a jet plane, forever my friend,

and it breaks my heart to think I'll probably never see you again,

Your the kind of girl that makes a man want to take action, / and throw his kimono out the window in a fit of passion.

You make goodbye so much worse, cause leaving you is why it hurts

No more rainbows when i poop, or smelling you on my shirts.

November samurai I pledge you my monogamy,

Because we're perfect for each other if you overlook the geography.

All said and done, it’s been fun, Me and you, we’re an art.

Oriental pearl I’ll always love you girl, with all of my heart.


Sexy lips, / with orchids in your satin hair,

I still turn every corner ho – ping you'll be waiting their,

your moves are sweeter than a candy coated sugar swirl

shake it like a disco queen little Japanese girl,


What's your name, pretty angel, with the midnight eyes,

I'd like to buy you a drink, like all the rest of these guys.

Your moves are great, I love the way you pivot and twirl

Shake it like a disco queen little Japanese girl.


Let's have some fun, you won't believe what i can do with my tongue,

Miss Saigon, is going to squirm and shake that cute little bum,

Your moves are awesome, kimosabe, you had me at hello,

Shake it little Japanese girl, shake it nice and slow,